Is It Love or a Lie? How to Spot Romance Scams

Love can blind us, especially when we're searching for it online. While the internet offers endless possibilities for connection, it also leaves you vulnerable to sophisticated romance scams. A romance scam involves someone pretending to be another person online to make someone fall for them. The goal is to trick the victim into giving money or personal information.

In the last three years alone, U.S. consumers have reported losing nearly $1 billion to romance scams. These scams can leave victims not just financially drained but emotionally devastated as well. Romance scams exploit our desire for connection, using deceitful tactics to steal money and break hearts.

The Phases of a Romance Scam

Curious about how romance scams start? Let's break it down into four stages:

• The "Infatuation" Phase: Scammers start by building trust and emotional connections quickly. They’ll shower you with affection and share personal details to make you feel special and connected.
• The "Emergency" Phase: Once they’ve gained your trust, they’ll introduce a sudden financial crisis or business opportunity. This could be anything from unexpected medical bills to urgent legal problems, travel issues or a can't-miss investment.
• The "Pressure" Phase: Here, scammers use manipulation to make you feel guilty or anxious, urging you to send money immediately. They may even threaten to end the relationship if you don’t comply.
• The "Disappearance" Phase: After receiving the money, the scammer disappears without a trace, leaving you heartbroken and out of pocket.

According to the FBI, romance fraud results in the highest financial losses for individuals, second only to investment scams.

Beware of These Warning Signs

Scam or true love? How can you tell? Recognizing these warning signs can save you from heartbreak and deception.

• Rapidly Escalating Affection: If someone you’ve just met online is professing love quickly, slow down and be careful. Genuine relationships take time to build.
• Inconsistent Stories: Pay close attention to any inconsistencies in their personal stories, background or current situation. These discrepancies often indicate deceit.
• Requests for Money: One of the biggest red flags is a request for money, especially if you haven’t met in person. Scammers create elaborate stories to tug at your heartstrings and wallet.
• Pressure and Guilt Trips: Be cautious if you feel manipulated or coerced into making decisions that make you uncomfortable. True relationships are based on mutual respect, not pressure tactics.
• Too Good to Be True: If the person seems too perfect or their life appears overly glamorous, it could be a sign they are not being honest. Scammers often create idealized personas to lure victims.
• Unwillingness to Meet in Person: Scammers often avoid meeting in person, and cite work or travel abroad as excuses. This distance helps them conceal their identity. Be suspicious if they consistently refuse video calls or face-to-face meetings.
• Limited Online Presence: A minimal or inconsistent online presence can be another warning sign. Scammers often use fake profiles on dating websites or social media platforms, pretending to be someone they're not. They may use photos and information taken from someone else's profile, further adding to the deception.

By staying alert to these warning signs, you can protect yourself and safeguard your personal and financial well-being.

Safeguarding Your Heart and Wallet

Taking proactive steps can significantly reduce your risk of falling for a scam:

• Video Chat Early On: Verify their identity by scheduling a video call to ensure they are who they claim to be.
• Slow Down the Pace: Avoid rushing into a serious relationship with someone you've only met online. Take time to truly get to know them.
• Research Their Profile: Conduct an online search of their profile and background. Look for inconsistencies or warning signs.
• Never Send Money: Never send money to someone you haven't met in person, regardless of how convincing their story might be.
• Consult a Trusted Friend or Family Member: Discuss your online relationship with someone you trust. They can offer a different perspective and help spot potential scams.
• Report Suspected Scams: If you suspect a scam, report it to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) or your local law enforcement agency — your report can help protect others.

Remember, online dating safety is key! Romance scams can seriously hurt, both emotionally and financially. But by knowing the red flags, you can protect yourself from falling victim to romance scams and ensure your online interactions remain safe and genuine. For more tips on staying safe online, check out our Security page. Stay safe, stay informed and help create a supportive and secure environment for everyone looking for love online.

Source: Better Business Bureau. (2018, February). Online Romance Scams Full Study. bbb.org